How I prioritize everything that matters

The simple, free tool that I use every day.

Succession, S2.E10

One of my first jobs in my early 20s was working as an executive assistant for the CEO of a super fast growing startup. My boss was tough, but I learned a ton from him and got a front-row seat to every process that made that business run as well as it did. I had the privilege of sitting in on leadership and board meetings, helping him throughout the M&A process (the company was acquired), and learning from how he dealt with any crisis, big or small. But my main job - the one that had to be executed perfectly to avoid his wrath—was managing his calendar. If this seems trivial, try running a company with hundreds of employees and locations all over the world while deep in an M&A process.

Managing his calendar was not just about making appointments. It was about prioritizing and ensuring that he spent every minute on the things that mattered most. It also involved saying “no” to many people, the unspoken reason I believe he hired me for because he sensed I wouldn't have an issue with it. I remember sitting at my desk, watching people approach me only to turn back around halfway after a single glance from me that said, “No chance you’re getting any time with him today.”

More than ten years later, I am still obsessed with running a calendar like a tight ship. Luckily, it’s my own calendar I’m in charge of these days, but I abide by the same principles. I will go through what a typical week looks like for me and show you how I use this magical (and free) tool to prioritize, rather than just organize, my life.

What goes in my calendar

The answer to that is EVERYTHING. My governing mantra, which I learned from another great CEO (my husband), is: if it’s not in the calendar, it doesn’t happen. To that end, I create recurring events for the daily tasks and activities I need to do, including my morning routine, workouts, dedicated blocks of time for deep work, meetings, and standing personal appointments. I do this at the beginning of the year, working from the OKRs I set for myself to ensure that I will actually achieve my most important goals.

A typical week in my life

How I structure my time

I love routine and predictability because it helps me focus. Unless I am traveling or need to schedule external meetings or unforeseen work-related events, I prefer it when every day looks exactly the same.

7-8:30 am: This is my morning routine block that includes getting ready for the day, meditation, journaling and breakfast. Save for travel or the odd, important early morning meeting, this block of time is sacred and I don’t ever mess with it.

8:30-11:30 am: This is my deep work block where I tackle the hardest task of the day, creative or product work for good decisions, or writing. As a rough guide, 30 minutes, 3 hours, and 11 hours after we wake up are great times for hard work. This happens because of the body’s circadian rhythm and rhythmicity of body temperature and associated neurochemicals. Unless I absolutely have to, I never schedule meetings in the morning.

11:30 am-12:45 pm: Around 11:30 am is when I need a break and I use this time to work out. The gym I go to is three minutes away, so I get a full one hour workout in this slot.

1-2 pm: I use this block to shower after gym and eat lunch. This is also when my calendar “officially” opens for external meetings.

2-5:30 pm: Any external meeting - zoom or in person - will go here. If I don’t have meetings, I’ll use this block for emails, reviewing documents, admin work or to create content for social media. Afternoons are when I feel least productive and motivated, so I try to fill them with work that does not require a high creative output.

5:30-7:30 pm: This is my “chill” slot where I make dinner and spend time with Emi. Most days we’ll go for a walk after dinner and chat about our day. This is what an ideal evening looks like for me, unless we have social obligations or work dinners.

7:30-9:30 pm: Around 8 pm I get another boost of productivity where I feel alert and creative. I use this time to continue working on a task from earlier in the morning, write down ideas, send voice notes to people I work with, or plan the following day. From 9 pm onward is wind-down time and I tidy the house a bit before getting ready to shower and go to bed. Putting everything in order is part of my nighttime routine - knowing that I will wake up to a clean, tidy space does more for my sleep quality than any supplement.

Weekends: This is my unstructured time and the only things that go in the calendar are workouts, social events, dinners or appointments. I do work on weekends too, usually in the morning, before my workout, but I want to have less imposed structure on weekends.

As you can tell, I do have a few blocks everyday where I don’t work. That’s because I believe in efficacy and focus rather than “busyness”. You can spend all day in front of your computer and appear hard-working, when in fact you’re scrolling on social or reading the news half the time. Research shows than our brains can sustain peak focus and productivity for about 90 minutes, a period governed by the ultradian rhythm, a natural cycle in our bodies that dictates periods of energy and rest. After 90 minutes, cognitive performance tends to decline. It’s unlikely that you can have more than three such 90-minute blocks in any given day.

What I say no to

I am very protective of my time and unless it involves family or work (priorities), I won’t do it. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve also gotten to know myself better and be more aware of what drains my energy. Events, socializing (unless with a handful of very close friends), going out, meetings that could easily be an email, and work-related travel are all activities I keep to a minimum. The media I consume is also tightly curated and I don’t read the news on a daily basis.

How to prioritize if you don’t have flexibility

I am lucky in that I work for myself and can create my own schedule. If you have a job or responsibilities (kids, family obligations) that constrain your flexibility, you can still use the calendar as a tool to prioritize and even carve out some time for yourself. Here are a few ideas:

• If your most productive block is always eaten up by endless meetings, speak with your colleagues or your boss. Maybe they’d prefer it too if certain meetings would transition to email or Slack. Maybe you can agree on consolidating all meetings to certain days of the week so you can free up more time for deep, focused work. You’ll never know until you ask.

• Be realistic about your energy patterns throughout the day. If you always feel exhausted after work, it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever go to the gym then. But if you want to prioritize health, you’ll have to figure out a way to go in the morning. Is there someone who can help you with chores so you can free up that morning slot? Can you block morning slots on the weekend?

• Maybe there’s a slot in the morning or evening that you can block (even if it’s ten minutes) for an activity you’d like to prioritize. If you want to meditate but never find time to do it, creating a recurring slot in your calendar might help you stick with it. When you’re overwhelmed with taking care of others, the simple act of blocking some time for yourself can feel like a respite.

• The less flexibility you have, the more important it becomes to say no. Think of the people, events or activities that drain your energy and be super ruthless about cutting them from your life. Do the same with the media you consume. Use Screen Time to do an audit of where you spend too much time. Is it scrolling on social? News? Group chats?

The way I use my calendar might seem rigid, but only if you look at it from a time management perspective. I don’t, however, believe that time can truly be managed. I prefer to think of prioritizing as the act of being present, which oddly, is easier to implement when you have guardrails. Without those guardrails, it’s so easy to fall down the rabbit hole of procrastination and planning. But as Oliver Burkeman says in one of my all-time favorite books,

A plan is just a thought. We treat our plans as though they are a lasso, thrown from the present around the future, in order to bring it under our command. But all a plan is—all it could ever possibly be—is a present-moment statement of intent. It’s an expression of your current thoughts about how you’d ideally like to deploy your modest influence over the future. The future, of course, is under no obligation to comply.